Helplessness

To recap, the girls are there to earn money for their parents, their siblings, their children, and even extended family. They are expected to send a certain amount home each time they are paid. So, even though they do not want to be there, they are being forced to be there. Their minds want to get customers because they need the money, but their hearts and souls do not want to get customers because it destroys them in countless ways. As I have been observing and analyzing everything while in the bars, I have realized that most of the girls begin their jobs being very conservative, very timid, and obviously not wanting to be there. After they have been there for a while (it is very easy to tell the difference), they begin to become much more aggressive, more revealing, and seemingly wanting to be in the bar. I have noticed this numerous times in various bars, and I have realized that the girls begin competing with the other girls in the bar for customers. In order to get the customer and earn money, they feel like they have to throw themselves at the men. Along with competing for customers, the girls are comparing themselves with the other girls in the bar and in other bars. They begin to take things personally; feel rejected if men choose another girl over them. They begin to feel like they are not as pretty as the other girls, not as fun as the other girls, not as skinny as the other girls, etc. As much as they do not want to have customers, they want to feel wanted and accepted. I think that this usually happens after the girls have been in the bars for a while, but either way, it is a sad reality.

Last night, as we were walking down the street to Bonita's and Roy's apartment, I saw a white man and a Thai girl, hand-in-hand going down the street. The man kept stopping at the sexual things that are for sale on the streets. The girl continuously shook her head "no" while trying to pull him away from the many things he was picking up. It was disgusting. What kind of person would do that to someone that they just met?! What kind of person would do that to anyone?! She obviously wanted no part of what he was wanting to buy in order to enhance his own pleasure. I was horrified, but I could not do or say anything about it. I am getting tired of not being able to say or do anything about anything. Helplessness sets in very quickly.

We only have four full days left in Thailand. This is unreal! Each day is filled to the brim with busyness and activities in which we will take part. The days are packed but will be exciting!!! We are planning out every minute of every day that we have left, trying not to focus on the actual leaving part of the equation. Wednesday will be a sad day for us all.

Current prayer requests:
Please pray that we can control our emotions during our last few days; it is so hard to tell the girls we have met that we are leaving and to see them immediately become saddened. Pray that God will use us to the max for the next few days. Pray for the leadership of Beginnings; they have a lot in their hands. Pray for the girls in the house, as well. One girl in particular is having trouble with her eyes, and the surgery that she needs in order for her to be able to see, read, and learn English will cost $2,000. Beginnings does not have this money available for her, so they are trying to figure out where to get the funds.

Thank you all for your prayers and support!
Kalyn